Yeah, I know. Haven’t posted anything in a while. Things have been really hectic here. Anyway today is a special day and I thought I’d break my silence today.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen…(fanfare..drumroll…) I am officially on the wrong half of the thirties today. I turned 36. yikes! (yes, I do share my birthday with Bachchan Jr.) surprised that a woman has revealed her age, that too one in her mid thirties (is that really me?). i don’t believe in being coy about it. my age is my age is my age. like it or lump it. who am i trying to fool? whether i admit it or not, i am as old as i am.
that doesn’t mean i accept it. i simply cannot believe it. it wasn’t long ago that numbers like 30 and 40 were soooooo far away. those people were so old… now i am there myself, almost nudging the BIG 40, and do i feel old? nah! i feel just the same. my family still doesn’t use my name and the term ‘mature’ in one sentence. if age is supposed to bring wisdom well, my shipment certainly got lost somewhere along the way. i still believe that age is all in the mind and my mental age is still very very young. i just don’t feel old at all.
i guess that’s what happens when you are the youngest in a family of five, with quite an age difference between you and your siblings. everyone still treats you as the baby of the family. though it can get annoying at times, it has its own advantages. no one really blames you when you goof up.
“after all isn’t she a kid,” is their magnanimous, forgiving, and indulgent words.
nevermind that the kid is 36 today and herself the mother of two kids! believe me you can get away with almost anything.
my daughter asked me how old i am today and when i said 36 she was aghast,” amma, but that is OLD!”
“yeah! so what?” i asked.
i don’t blame her. i was there myself not long ago. when anything above 25 was old.
well, here i am a ‘thaikizhavi’ myself. and i have the grey hairs to prove it too. i have the whole set of stuff… crow’s feet, laughlines, and if i really try hard, on a good day, i can detect the faint beginnings of a turkey neck. but you know what, i will not acknowledge them for what they are. crow’s feet? why crows feet? i shall call them dove’s feet. that takes the harshness out of it and makes it sound softer and nicer. so its dove’s feet for me. i don’t mind the term laughlines though. suggests a happy picture, though personally i think its a misnomer. frown lines, more likely. ah, but i shall continue to call them laugh lines. and the best part. turkey necks. whoever thought of them? the more i think of it, i expect my self to burst out gobble gobble at any moment.
i hate those horrible grey hairs. everyday, a close examination (i do try not to get too close) reveals a new grey hair. i tell you its just not fair. my sisters never greyed this early. nor i think my brothers. they were well into their late forties before the traitors started showing up. oh yeah, there’s a couple of decades between me and 3 of my siblings but i guess i take after my dad. he had greys when he was 30.
i refuse to dye my hair, though my kids beg me to. because i think that would be the final blow. sort of like giving in to ‘age’. i shall hold off for as long as i can, before i accept the fact that i am growing old.
after all, ,’i refuse to go gently into the night’ (with due apologies to dylan thomas). why should i age gracefully? i shall fight it tooth and nail.
meanwhile i shall just go on and have one helluva birthday!
Simon And Garfunkel sing Old Friends.