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How to Make Momos / Dumplings / Potstickers- that come in a Box, from a Freezer – in 42 Steps

Sometimes you’ve got that craving you’ve just got to take care of. And sometimes you’ve got to resort to those frozen thingamajigs. But who said it was just, shove ’em in the microwave and zap’em?

chicken_potstickers_large

  1. Open box of frozen momos. 
  2. Glance at complicated instructions printed on box. 
  3. Follow first step. 
  4. Scroll through phone while waiting.
  5. Select Ilayaraja playlist on YouTube.
  6. Hope and pray you do not get served a legal notice for playing songs without explicit written permission- in triplicate (original notarized, copies duly attested).
  7. Remember yesterday’s vow to keep kitchen spotlessly clean – always.
  8. Start cleaning kitchen counter top with zealous vigor. 
  9. Dump box with instructions into trash can along with yesterday’s mail. 
  10. Top off with morning’s tea leaves, vegetable peels, and eggshells,
  11. Be extra zealous and empty kitchen trash can into big trash can in garage. 
  12. Realize it is time to follow second step – for the dumplings. dummies
  13. Search for box with instructions. 
  14. Realize you threw it away. 
  15. Find trash can empty. 
  16. Remember you removed trash bag to garage. 
  17. Open huge trash can.
  18. Gag!
  19. Root around in week old trash. 
  20. Throw up from the smell of two day old fish bones. 
  21. Curse all frozen snack makers. 
  22. Go back to kitchen and stare at half done snack. 
  23. Google for instructions. 
  24. Find it online. 
  25. Follow second step. 
  26. Come back to instructions. 
  27. See ad for latest weight loss ‘trick’. 
  28. Navigate to weight loss page. 
  29. Look up fat burning enzyme Lipase on Google.
  30. Somehow find yourself on online saree shopping site.
  31. Drool over that lime green linen beauty. 
  32. Check phone.
  33. Respond, “Ha ha very funny!” for stale 15 year old internet joke reincarnated on Whatsapp and forwarded to you for 23rd time today – in various groups.
  34. Curse the day you created 5 of those groups. 
  35. Go back to instructions.
  36. Follow third step. 
  37. Take out ‘done’ momos or dumplings or potstickers or whatever you want to call them. 
  38. Wait for it to cool.
  39. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee or maybe by now wine is a better option. 
  40. Play Baburaj hits on Youtube. 
  41. Sit back and bite into a piping hot momo.
  42. Wish you’d just made them from scratch.

Next in the Series: How to make an IKEA Bookshelf – In 256 Easy Steps – and end up with something that looks like a chicken coop.

instrucciones-ikea

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2 responses »

  1. For a minute….i expected the quick weight loss trick was to refrain from eating momos.. ..

    Like

    Reply

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